The instruction before an airplane takes off is to put your own oxygen mask on first in the event of an emergency, so that you can help those around you. In our lives, we should heed the same instruction to take care of ourselves first so that we can take better care of others.

Taking care of yourself often means saying no to the demands on your time, your attention, and your resources. Saying no is often not easy to do. Especially if you are like so many who often say yes because it is what is expected of you, and you wouldn’t dream of letting anyone down,or causing an upset. Yet, the whole time you are seething inside that you are going out of your way again for another person and your heart just isn’t in it. That’s a good indication that it’s time to start taking better care of yourself, your wants, and your needs.

There are only so many hours in the day and only so many days in the week. You have to learn how to carve out some time for your own self to do what you need or want to do. Everytime that you say yes to something that is unimportant to you, you say no to something that is. In order to make room for what is important, you will find times that you will have to say no to certain things:

* What others expect of you.

* “Urgent” matters that do not line up with your own goals.

* Tasks that can be done by others.

When a request is made for your time or resources, and your heart just isn’t in it, use one of the following statements:

1) “I’m sorry, but I just can’t do this right now.” Keep in mind that a really pushy person might be inclined to ask for an explanation as to why you cannot do what they have requested. You do not owe anyone an explanation, but a great comeback for that type of question is this:” I’m sorry; that’s a personal matter.”

2) “I will have to think about it and get back to you.” This buys you some time but delays the answer that the recipient really doesn’t want to hear, and you really don’t want to say: “No.”

3) “I really wish I could, but I am not in a position to help you.” Again, you do not owe an explanation.

However, I should warn you, if you are the known caretaker in your family and amongst your friends, the moment you start learning to say yes to yourself and no to others, expect some flack.

Think about it. What do you need to start saying “no” to?