HomeSpunHealers

Ever since my first son was born in December of 1980, I have not been able to sleep very well.  At first, it was just new mom jitters.  I had to get up with him several times during the night, but even when he was sleeping soundly, I was awake worrying that I might not hear him or he might stop breathing or something else horrible might happen during the night.  Even when he was sleeping all night, I was not.  I would wake up about every hour on the hour and look at the clock and start the countdown:  “If I can go back to sleep right now, I can still get 5 hours of sleep. . .  If I can go back to sleep right now, I can still get 4 hours of sleep.”  And of course, by the time the countdown got to 3 or 2, I could not go back to sleep at all.  I would invariably get up and start working on laundry or formula preparation or the other myriad of things a working mother has to take care of.

My poor sleeping habits did not get better as time went on, and in 1983, there was baby number two on the way.  There was twice the work and twice the stress, and I was so sleep deprived that I began to suffer from depression.  I didn’t recognize it as depression even when my doctor diagnosed it.  He recommended I see a psychiatrist and get some medication and some therapy, but I didn’t think I needed that, so I just changed doctors and kept being sleep deprived.  I was one miserable, grumpy person.

Finally, in 1994, I was starting to have panic attacks, I could barely function outside of my workplace, and my marriage was on the rocks.  So, I did the unthinkable:  I sought help from a therapist.  She literally saved my life.  She referred me to a psychiatrist for antidepressants, and we began a two year process of trying to help me feel better about myself.  The antidepressants helped with the sleep problems some, but I still wasn’t getting a full night’s sleep.  So, my doctor recommended I have a sleep study done.  The study showed that I only reached the very first level of sleep where I was easily awakened by just about anything, even the barely audible whir of the camera when it changed perspectives during the night.  I didn’t have apnea or any other medical problem.  I just simply was too alert!  So, I started a nightly ritual that I still follow even today: Before I go to bed, I turn on my white noise machine, cover any light source in the room, even the little light on the cable box across the room, and I turn the bedside clock away from me, so I don’t see the light from it, and I can’t look at it if I happen to wake up.  This routine eventually got me a good night’s sleep again.  Hallelujah!  I was a new woman!

Eventually, I decided to stop the antidepressants, and I replaced them with St. John’s Wort, which I still take on a daily basis.  That worked really well to keep the depression at bay, especially since I was sleeping well.  But then a series of events happened:  I separated from my husband, went to graduate school to get my masters degree, buried my father, became my grandmother’s guardian, started a full time job, had neck surgery, struggled with a loved one over his addiction problems, buried my grandmother, got divorced, dated some losers, met my present husband, and got re-married, which included getting a young step daughter, too.  I didn’t have to take one of those stress surveys to know that my stress index was out the roof.  And the worst part was my dearly loved new husband was a snorer of seismic proportions!

So, in addition to the nightly routine before sleep, I added putting in a pair of earplugs to block the rumbling volcano next to me.  My sleep was not as good as it once was, but I was still managing until I started waking up during the night gasping for air.  I’d have to get up and walk around to be able to get my breath again.  I thought it was allergies (and I still do) but my doctor ordered another sleep study for me, and that time, I was diagnosed with Restless Leg Syndrome.  I started taking a prescription medication every night before I went to bed.  I managed to sleep better because I was treating myself for my allergies with something that made me drowsy, too.  But I thought that perhaps the other medication was also contributing, so I kept taking it.  Two years later, my doctor told me that the medication I had been taking was shown to build up over time in the fatty body tissues and cause short term memory problems.  So that’s why I can’t remember anything anymore!  I stopped taking that, and he prescribed a new medication for me take.  The only problem with that, besides I’m not really convinced I have RLS to begin with, is that the side effects include the following:  nausea, vomiting, dizziness, drowsiness, inability to remain alert during normal daily activities, such as driving a car, behavioral changes that might include an unusual urge to gamble or increased sexual urges and/or behaviors, and hallucinations, such as unreal sounds, visions, or sensations.  Holy cow!  Guess what?  I decided not to take that prescription medication.

After about a week off the previous medication, I started to wake up in the middle of the night with my legs aching and my feet burning as though someone was holding a blow torch to them.  This was not cool, no pun intended.  Now, I know I have neuropathy as a result of diabetes, but that has never been a real problem for me to sleep, at least not while I was taking the medication for RLS.  My doctor did try me on another prescription medication designed to help alleviate the tingling and burning from the neuropathy, but that made my ankles swell up like tree trunks.  No, thank you.  I had to have some relief, but no prescription medication seemed worth it.

So, I got on the Internet and started looking for natural help.  I am currently doing two things, which seem to work just fine although I can’t begin to explain why.  One thing is I rub my feet, tops and bottoms, with an arthritis pain cream that has menthol in it.  My feet feel cool and comfy with the menthol.  And here’s the weirdest thing I do:  I put a bar of Ivory soap under the bottom sheet down near where my feet lie when I sleep.  And I’m sleeping like a baby most nights!  I’m not sure if it’s mainly the menthol working, or if it’s the soap, which I can’t understand how it could possibly do a thing, but a lot of people swear by it for controlling RLS or leg cramps or both.  All I know is that I am sleeping comfortably.  And that’s the most important thing.

So, now when I get ready for bed, I make sure all the light sources are covered, I turn the clock away from me, I rub down my feet with the menthol cream, I turn on my white noise, I put in my ear plugs, and I snuggle down under the covers with my feet next to the bar of Ivory soap under the bottom sheet.  Ah.  Sleep, sweet sleep!

Diana