“The past is an illusion. You must learn to live in the present
and accept yourself for what you are now. What you lack in flexibility and
agility you must make up with knowledge and constant practice.”  ~Bruce Lee

Tuesday, I lost my wallet.  I didn’t realize it was lost until someone informed me that she had it.  As it turned out, Tuesday, when I was shopping at a grocery store, I left my wallet in the seat part of a shopping cart.  That’s always where I place it while I’m shopping, and I always put it back there when I wheel the groceries out to my car and then after I load the groceries into my car, I place the cart in the proper return area, get my wallet out, and go back to my car.  I have done that so many times that I don’t even think about what I’m doing. It’s my routine.  But Tuesday, something interrupted my routine.  On the way to return the cart, I saw that someone had left a shopping cart in the middle of an empty parking space.  I had to walk right past that cart sitting there, and even though I didn’t have to, I stopped, pushed my cart into that one, and pushed them both to the cart return area.  When I shoved my cart into the other one, it caused the little seat area on my cart to fold up, hiding my wallet from my view.  When I pushed the carts into their place at the return, I didn’t think about my wallet because I didn’t see it.  I just went back to my car and drove home, never even considering that I didn’t have my wallet.  I was really surprised when the manager of the grocery store called and told me she had it in the safe there.  I was really grateful that the person who found my wallet had done the right thing and turned it in.  It could have just as easily ended up in the hands of someone who might spend the measly three dollars I had in there or worse use my bank card or credit card.  But I was fortunate enough to have someone kind and decent find it. 

I was relating that story to my office mate, and she said, “No good deed goes unpunished.”  I had to ask her what she meant, and she said, “If you hadn’t returned someone else’s cart for them, you wouldn’t have left your wallet.”  True.  But I never once had thought that I shouldn’t have returned that cart for someone else, only that I was grateful the person who found the wallet did me a favor by turning it in.  I think that’s generally true about me.  I don’t usually dwell on what I should have done or not done.  I don’t think backwards much anymore.  Although I used to live in the past a great deal.  Living in the past made me miserable, so I stopped it.

I did think about the future, though.  I told my office mate that I was glad the wallet was found before I knew it was missing.  If the weekend had arrived, and I had needed my wallet to buy gas or for some other reason, I would have panicked, wondering why it wasn’t in my book bag where I always keep it.  I might have even wondered if someone on campus had come into my office and taken my wallet when I was in a classroom.  I might have imagined all kinds of bad things because it wouldn’t have occurred to me that I had willingly left it in the shopping cart on Tuesday.  I might have become fearful of all the students who are in or around my office or even the maintenance crew who helps me by emptying my trash and fixing the heating and air conditioning when I’m too hot or too cold.  I might have mistrusted all those innocent people because I wouldn’t have been able to explain why my wallet was gone. 

Living in the past made me miserable.  Projecting into the future and imagining what might happen can also make me unhappy.  I had a wise counselor who once told me that all guilt comes from living in the past.  All fear comes from living in the future.  And so I just choose to live in the moment, and I am grateful that I have my wallet with me due to the kindness of some stranger.  And the next time I pass a shopping cart left in a parking space, I’ll probably return the stray cart with my own.  But I’ll check the basket to see if I have my wallet with me!

There are lessons to be used for our benefit in all the day to day circumstances that we encounter.  I’m glad I’ve learned to look for the positive lesson.  I’d rather be grateful for someone’s kindness than to regret my own.